Legal Referral’s Midnight Meltdown: Lady Finds Needles in Her Head, I Find Bottom of Coffee Pot

From “I’m Fine” to “There’s WHAT in My Skull?”: Why You Should Probably Get a CT Scan After Car Accident (But What Do I Know, I’m Just a Sleep-Deprived Lawyer)

[Deep sigh] Okay, it’s… I don’t even know what time it is. Too late. Or too early. Whatever. Let’s talk about this needle-in-the-brain mess.

When “Ouch” Turns into “Holy $#!%”

So, this lady. Minor accident. Normal Tuesday, right? Wrong. Gets a CT scan and bam! Needles. In. Her. Skull. I mean… what? How? Did she fall into a sewing box? Is this some new extreme sport I’m not aware of? “Extreme Knitting: Skull Edition”? This is why I drink. I mean, this is why I tell people to get checked out after accidents. You think you’re fine, but for all you know, you’re one sneeze away from turning into a human sprinkler system. With needles. Ugh.

The Legal Circus Begins

And now, the legal fun begins. Because of course, it does. Insurance companies are gonna love this. “Sorry, ma’am, needle-head syndrome isn’t covered under your policy.” I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it. This is the kind of case that turns into a long term disability appeal process nightmare. Nothing says “fit for work” like random sewing supplies in your grey matter, right?

Creepy Crawly Legal Stuff

You know what’s keeping me up at night? Besides this case and the gallon of coffee I just drank? The fact that this woman had no clue she was a walking pincushion. It’s like those disability surveillance tactics some sketchy companies use, but worse. At least you can spot a PI in a bush. Needles in your brain? Not so much.

Job Security? In This Economy?

Oh, and here’s a fun thought for your next anxiety spiral: Can your job fire you after a car accident? Probably not legally, but add “surprise cranial sewing kit” to the mix, and who knows? It’s like a bad joke. “A lawyer, a needle, and an MRI walk into a bar…”

I Don’t Even Know Anymore

Look, I don’t know what the moral of this story is. Get CT scans? Don’t fall on needles? Avoid cars? Become a lawyers firm in Pearland TX because apparently, that’s where all the weird stuff happens. All I know is, I need sleep. Or more coffee. Or a new career. Maybe I’ll become a professional CT scan analyzer. Seems safer than the law at this point. Stay safe out there, folks. And maybe wear a helmet. All the time. Just in case. [Muffled thud, possibly head hitting desk]